Welcome

[ubersok]

(IMG:http://img206.imageshack.us/img206/9537/jon1hy9.jpg)

Jonathan M. Sok
March 12, 1988 - November 25, 2007
Beloved Brother, Son, Cousin, and Uncle.
We will always remember you.

My brother, Jonathan Sok, was a man that would help me with anything from toys to life, and so forth. He is the type of person that is very stubborn, in a good way, and presistent. He would never stop to try help others. Jonathan Sok always thought of others before himself, but my brother would always end up hurt. We used to talk about our lives, and he would usually start by telling me that girls are a pain, he told me his mistakes, and I would learn from them. I never actually thanked my brother for the great advice he gave me. So I'm going to say it right now "Thanks, hyung for giving great advice on how to life my life, I'm sure that I will pass this on to my kids, and I will tell them the great stories of my older brother."

The day started when my friend, Daniel Cha, and I awoke from hearing loud cries and painful moans from my mother. I walked out of my room to see what the conflict was, and in my parent's room I saw my mother hitting the bed, and I saw my father's tearing eyes. I asked "What's wrong?! Why are you crying? What happened!?" Then my dad gave me the worst possible answer. He hestitantly told me that "Jeff... John is .. dead..." When I heard the news I was stunned, I was unable to hear, to comprehend, to understand. I wasn't able to harness the words that my father said to me. My brother, out of anyone else in the whole world, had passed away.. With my brother gone, I would have to take the responsibility to provide for my family, to give them hope, to guide them into wealth and happiness. The responsibilities that were once his, have now become mine. I with full responsibility, accept these terms that my brother has left for me, and I will achieve what my brother has not achieved, I will surpass what he has done with strength, hope, devotion, and guidance of my brother.

When I heard the news I slowly began to tear inside. My mind could accept that he has passed, but my heart was unable to believe that he is no longer here and my heart was full of pain and still some of the pain is here. I slowly walked back into my room, thinking that it was a bad dream and that I was gonna awake soon, but I didn't. I returned to my room to tell Daniel the bad news, but I broke out in tears, unable to speak. I fell into Daniel's arms and just started crying, and then I told him that it's best for him to leave, and he did. I rejoined my mother and father in the living room and my mother was still crying. We cried and cried until the other family members came. Seconds felt like hours and minutes felt like days. While I was waiting in my brother's room Jason came, his eyes were shedding tears too. For him and I were sharing the same pain, the same burden. We waited until the Choi family and my father's brother, Sok family, came. When they arrived, Felix, Miguel, Jason, and myself were outside. This was no place for words.

We waited in silence until the parents gave us a destination, Pasedena, soon after we picked Michael Lee up from his house. Then we headed for our destination. A Thirty-Five minute drive and possibly the longest ride of my life. Inside my head I could not believe that my brother was dead. I thought that they had mistaken him for someone else and that my brother is at home alone wondering where everyone went. My mind was giving me illusions, and I was hoping that they were true. When we reached Huntington Memorial Hospital we immediatly went to the hospital, hoping that we would find John.

We waited in suspense for about fifteen minutes. Everyone with their hopes high wanting to believe that my brother is okay. There I met Chuck, my brother's friend, that was there on the day of the accident, he told me what happened. I couldn't believe the story. I couldn't believe that my brother was in the backseat of a 2008 Honda Civic Si, I couldn't believe that the Civic Si fell off a cliff with three people in it, including my brother. I just couldn't believe that my brother isn't coming back.

After fifteen minutes, the doctors told us to wait in the Counselor's Center, where about fifteen or twenty people were : Jason's Family, Peter's Family, Miguel's Family, Yohan's family, My family, Alex's Family, and much more. The waiting had dimmed our hopes of Johnathan Sok. My mother was crying her heart out, and my father could barely keep his stature, and I .. I convinced myself that everyone was lieing to me. I convinced myself that my brother is alive. With my mother's crying, there came her words. My mother yelled at Jason's father "Jason's dad, tell me it wasn't my son! Tell me that it wasn't MY son! Tell me that my son is okay! Tell me that all these people came to watch my son come back! Tell me! Tell me!" When I heard those words. I couldn't bear it anymore. I finally accepted that my brother is no longer of this world and .. I broke down and cried. Miguel then grabbed me and covered my ears, trying to block the words. I couldn't take it anymore, the lies were broken, I accepted that my brother is .. dead.

When the social worker came and told us what happened. He told us that Johnathan Sok was pronounced dead at the scene, and the owner of the car, the passenger, got away with broken bones and a few cuts and scraps, but the driver of the car, he was in a critical condition there was a large gash in the back of his head and his jaw was nearly torn in half and that he is unable to move his face. We were thankful that they were alive. We were thankful. The day went downhill from there. We were unable to see Johnathan Sok, the social worker said he hasn't been picked up yet and that have to pick up his belongings at the Coroner's Office. My brother died at 2:00 a.m. and it was 7:25 a.m. Why could we not see our own son, my own brother!? It didn't make sense. They hadn't picked up my brother for five hours? Nothing made sense at the time.

During the drive home we did not speak, but we all felt the same sorrow. We all felt crushed that we could not see my brother. We felt despair, depression, death. We all felt the same thing, so we did not need words. I couldn't return home, I just couldn't. It's something I can't explain. I just couldn't.. After a few hours, we returned to the mournful, sorrow house. Where my mother continued screaming and crying, and still with my father's tearful eyes, and again with my unstable mind and heart. Many people came over, people I haven't seen in a long time, people I haven't ever met, and people I have never seen, but these people had a connection with my brother, and they were welcomed in my heart.

For two days my mother has been crying, and I could not bear the sound of a mother losing her first child. I could not bear that my mother is slowly losing her mind, I could not bear the tears that my mother has shed for her son. I could not bear my mother not eating or drinking for days. I could not bear any of these events. Even though I may seem okay, I am really shaken by this tragedy. I might never be able to recover from this incident, but with time I'm sure I can slowly recover with the support of my peers and family. I know that my brother will also help me recover.

I regret not taking advantage of the times I had with my brother. I took him for granted, whenever he asked me if he wanted to hangout, or kick it. I would say lame excuses such as "I have stuff to do." or "Where are your friends?" I regret not being a friend to him. This experience taught me that I should never take people for granted, and that I should be a role model to others, like my brother was to me. This also taught me that I should not stay home all the time, and that I should hang out with my friends more. My brother has taught me many things, but the most important thing my brother taught me was to be a real man.

This tragedy has brought my family hardships and pain, not just this family. This event has brought pain and sadness to my friends. Now I have realized that my friends are also my family, and that I do not have to carry the burden of my brother's death on my shoulders. With the death of one, we bring tons together. Even though my brother is not here, I still see him in the mirror, I see him brushing his teeth in the morning, I see him washing his face, I see him being a great older brother. I see him telling me that he is in bliss, and that he can't wait until his car gets there...

Til' this day, I have had dreams of my brother, and I have prayed to my brother, and I have prayed about my brother. I prayed that my brother had gone to heaven, I prayed that my brother is happy, and that Heaven is his playground. I do not know why I didn't throw God away, but I felt that my brother connected me to God for this. I believe that my brother is happy, and I believe that he wants us to be happy. I had a dream the other day, that my brother came into my room and slept with me, he did not say anything for we had the same thoughts. My brother grabbed me close, and I slept softly. I believe that Jonathan Sok has given meaning to the word brother. For he was the greatest brother any human being could possibly ask for. My brother will always remain in my heart, and undoubtly I'm sure that he will be in your hearts as well. My brother was born on March 12, 1988, the year of the dragon. He is fierce, loyal, loving, caring, and he has the qualities of a loving brother. My brother died on November 25, 2007 at 2:45 a.m. He drove a Montego Blue BMW 335i and he cherished it. Now, I can truely say that I respect Jonathan Sok, not as a brother, but as a great man. Jonathan Sok, my brother, is my one and only real Hyung.

Jonathan Sok.
If you can hear my voice, know that I love you.

(IMG:http://img527.imageshack.us/img527/2987/gradrn6.jpg)

This post has been edited by ubersok on November 29, 2007 12:00 am

[GTR]

Rest In Peace Jon, I'll never forget you.

[walnutt]

condolences, of course...
i'm sorry jeff.

[Kurisu]

I hope you are well, Jeff.
I am sorry that this happened..he is in a good place now.

[k061388]

awwwwwwwww... Im sorry this happened to you. Your lucky that you have such an awesome brother. Like everyone says, theres always something bad happen to good people... Sorry :(